Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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