Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
