mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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