He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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