So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
