I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
