I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
