don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
