fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
