We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
as a side note pls kill me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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