Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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