Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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