no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
