After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
i out mim tonsoeep
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