things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
