if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
