don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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