I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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