When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Operation Purity has been aborted
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
