it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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