so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
