I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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