Michael Bay diarrhea
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
