he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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