We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
