i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
