I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
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I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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