She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I came so hard my ears popped.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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