Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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