I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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