his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
