Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.

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  (845): Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand. http://tfl.nu/fgi3
  Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (1061)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.

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  (505): Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit. http://tfl.nu/y65n
  Replies (23) Good night (1136) Bad night (2826)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space

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  (703): I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space http://tfl.nu/29mq
  Replies (27) Good night (4733) Bad night (637)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?

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  (605): you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out? http://tfl.nu/fgrz
  Replies (59) Good night (9737) Bad night (958)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.

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  (612): all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high. http://tfl.nu/s4fq
  Replies (33) Good night (6364) Bad night (909)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

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  (214): Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love. http://tfl.nu/wggk
  Replies (10) Good night (6130) Bad night (1025)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?

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  (612): Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong? http://tfl.nu/gz8r
  Replies (44) Good night (1620) Bad night (4830)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong

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  (575): If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong http://tfl.nu/8y01
  Replies (12) Good night (816) Bad night (5068)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony

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  (804): Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony http://tfl.nu/wi0z
  Replies (13) Good night (2870) Bad night (1247)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.

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  (631): I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again. http://tfl.nu/8i97
  Replies (4) Good night (1854) Bad night (597)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple

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  (320): No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple http://tfl.nu/sc0u
  Replies (11) Good night (1825) Bad night (571)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.

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  (336): I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman. http://tfl.nu/r3qg
  Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (369)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee

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  (812): Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee http://tfl.nu/tqb3
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (449)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.

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  (423): I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way. http://tfl.nu/5vvj
  Replies (5) Good night (1094) Bad night (391)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us

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  (973): Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us http://tfl.nu/2son
  Replies (1) Good night (636) Bad night (243)

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