Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.