You just made me feel so damn special
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
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Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character