Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong