i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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