I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
