Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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