i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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