I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
