Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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