is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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