I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
