Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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