To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
