Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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