Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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