I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize