Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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