Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
