i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize