And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
