I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
