yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
