She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
