the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
