Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
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It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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