that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize