Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
