I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
